everythings eventual

Things end....lives,journeys,stories,love,even hate.....and when something ends,indifference takes its place and soon it no longer matters what WAS because it will never BE again,because once gone is too long gone because even an end ends.Everything dies....Everything fades..........
so when everything is eventual,what difference does it make?

?

Dear God,
Do I piss you off ?

The clown

Once upon a time,there lived a clown who,on one certain but ordinary occasion,fell off the carnival elephant and forgot who he was.He wandered around for many years,travelling from one town to the other,trying to find the answer,never giving up or losing hope until one day he was so tired and broken-hearted that he cried and cried till his tears formed a pool and in that pool of tears he saw his own reflection....and he smiled for the first time in his life.

Blinded by rainbows

We're all blind, some a little more than the others. We choose to see what we want to see and even then we look at what we see the way we want to....and don't we all like to see the world thru rose colored glasses? These are fucked times, when a man's identity is his Gucci shoes and Hugo Boss suit, when love is a 60 carat clear-cut diamond set on a platinium ring and happiness, a brand new Mercedes Benz. These are times when blindness isn't a handicap but a convinient epidemic, infact it could very well be the next step in human evolution. So if a lone blind man is standing in the rain, waiting for help and you happen to be snug in a warm chauffeured vechile idling away in the traffic and you feel sorry for him but move on anyway, don't feel guilty, instead pat your back,raise a toast to his good health and those Jimmy Choo boots you've been dying for...you know you've evolved.

IV

I wanna EAT your tears.

parallel Lives : continuance

Its 3 : 00 am
He lights a cigarette
He stares at the wall


Its 3 : 00 am
She lights a cigarette
She stares at the wall


Its 3 : 00 am
Another night ends


Its 3 : 00 am
Another day begins

curtains

Dear Reader,
I think I'm done with writing. I apologize, I really do. I promised you long miles and pleasant trips but here I am already at the end, distraught, tired, unable to continue. What started out as therapy has turned into a farce, a sideshow.I have fabricated reality, entwined it with the fibers of my own discord and knitted a noose, by which I now hang myself, metaphorically speaking of-course. I wrote because I felt unheard, alone ,because I felt I was dissipating atom by atom, evaporating like spit on a heated skillet,so insignificantly.Back then I realized I had raised this great barrier around myself and isolated myself from everyone/everything..so I wrote.. to remind everyone, including myself, that I still exist...or atleast that was the intent.
To scribble a few big words on a piece of paper is easy, to speak your mind can be planned, fixed,...but your heart says different, doesn't it? The heart's language is complicated, difficult to understand, it speaks in beats and aches, races and breaks, re-starts and rebounds, love and hate, doubt and faith....but it speaks the truth and this is what I cannot convey.I apologize because I now believe that I've lied to you, tricked you. Perhaps I did it unknowingly, convinced myself that I was writing with heart's blood or maybe I was aware, but thats not the point.What I wrote wasn't me, I wrote to please, the very first post to these last words.I wrote for you and you alone, every word, every line, every syllable, every rhyme was designed for you..misdirection and like a second rate magician, with one hand, I flourished colorful scarves in the air while the other pulled out plastic roses from my sleeve.

Shit, I don't know !!
....or maybe I wasn't lyin at all, maybe everythin I said I meant.Sometimes even I am a stranger to myself. Time changes things (does it really?),....only change is constant. So maybe I'm changin, finally evolving...or perhaps even rottin away. Who can say? I fear I'm "turning into a phony." Hurt inspired me, darkness fascinated me and boredom urged me but it was your attention that addicted me...so I wrote and I wrote for you.The point is...I've spoken too much and said too less.Who am I kiddin? I think I faked it all...and yet I don't know...I don't know!!

Lo, here we are, my dear companion...my muse. A familiar setting, where the paths we've paved intersect and part. Do we go our own ways here or do we go on hand in hand....until another cross-road? I wish I could believe in fate, that there is a higher power somewhere up there, who pens down the scripts of our lives, who is perhaps as sappy as we are and maybe this supreme being is laughing his/her ass off right now...because he/she sees the irony in the situations we believe we created. So, Dear Reader...maybe we shouldn't say good-bye.....not just yet....lets kid ourselves and imagine we have a few laughs comin our way too.So with these words I leave you now, but I'll see you soon.....this side or the other.
Love and regards,
yours nonetheless.