Did you hold your head up high as you walked away? Did you laugh when you burned our bridges? Was it so easy? Are the ghosts that haunt you silent now? Did your wounds heal? Did the pain fade away? Could you forget? Is this what you wanted? Can you hate me now? Will you be happy?
I couldn't.I didn't.It wasn't.They aren't.They haven't.It didn't.I couldn't.It's not.I can't.I won't.
So who's laughing now,now that the joke is on US?
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
Dog eat dog !!!
Why do we hurt the ones we love the most? I think that in our secret hearts, in the very core of it, we understand that the people we love the most wield the same power, the power to hurt us, and so it becomes imperative that we destroy them before they do us. A defense mechanism, so to speak. The animal instinct to survive, because (let’s face it), take away the three-piece suit, the fancy house, car, social boundaries and what do you have? We are animals, no disguise can ever hide that…..and the only reason we’ve come so far is because we are the most dangerous motherfuckers to ever inhabit this planet. We do what it takes to survive…… born killers…..all of us.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
SECRET SIGHS
A dying sun bleeds into an autumn sky,
The darkness soon follows nigh.
And somewhere beneath close-by,
Under the star-crossed autumn sky,
By a field of golden rye,
The shroud of silence stifles a sigh.
On a bed of thorns, do they lie
Here a widow and her lover try
To wipe each other’s tears dry,
And to love each other in the sly.
To love each other in the sly,
A widow and her lover must try.
Whispers he to her "Dear, you mustn’t cry!"
"My love for you will never die."
But by the light of an intruding fire-fly,
She spies a tear roll down his eye.
Outside a soft breeze kisses the rye,
Inside the silence stifles a sigh.
Try as she will, she cannot deny,
Hidden within her bosom is a lie.
Promises of love, oh how they fly,
Like birds in winter, towards a warmer sky.
So as this cold night passes by,
From East a little light has begun to pry,
On their dying love in the sly.
And here under an early sky,
Amidst a field of sleeping rye
Slowly he rises, from where they did lie.
Looks away and says "good-bye"
For once bitten, twice shy,
Giveth a lover a lying eye.
Outside a soft breeze stirs the rye,
Inside the silence stifles a sigh.
The darkness soon follows nigh.
And somewhere beneath close-by,
Under the star-crossed autumn sky,
By a field of golden rye,
The shroud of silence stifles a sigh.
On a bed of thorns, do they lie
Here a widow and her lover try
To wipe each other’s tears dry,
And to love each other in the sly.
To love each other in the sly,
A widow and her lover must try.
Whispers he to her "Dear, you mustn’t cry!"
"My love for you will never die."
But by the light of an intruding fire-fly,
She spies a tear roll down his eye.
Outside a soft breeze kisses the rye,
Inside the silence stifles a sigh.
Try as she will, she cannot deny,
Hidden within her bosom is a lie.
Promises of love, oh how they fly,
Like birds in winter, towards a warmer sky.
So as this cold night passes by,
From East a little light has begun to pry,
On their dying love in the sly.
And here under an early sky,
Amidst a field of sleeping rye
Slowly he rises, from where they did lie.
Looks away and says "good-bye"
For once bitten, twice shy,
Giveth a lover a lying eye.
Outside a soft breeze stirs the rye,
Inside the silence stifles a sigh.
Friday, October 22, 2010
the haunting..
...and then there are memories ... echoes of whispers, almost silent as the colors of a faded picture and yet they haunt us, undeniably.And we lay in their bosom as they sing forgotten lullabies not realizing what you thought was the embrace of a long lost friend is the cold grasp of the tentacles of reality.
There is no such thing as a "happy memory" is there?? For what is memory if not the death of time?Your first step,the 5th time you saw rain fall,the 52nd time you scraped your knees,that first kiss,that bright winter night,the old woman at the window with the sad eyes,the 23rd of a particular month...all gone,snatched away the very moment it came to be ....like a still born baby.....beautiful but never there again.Each memory we have is but a burden,a shadow of what was,our foolhardy will to outlive the enevitable,to make sense of this malady....and like drowning men we clutch at the straws of memory ...while memory drags us down deeper...and deeper....
There is no such thing as a "happy memory" is there?? For what is memory if not the death of time?Your first step,the 5th time you saw rain fall,the 52nd time you scraped your knees,that first kiss,that bright winter night,the old woman at the window with the sad eyes,the 23rd of a particular month...all gone,snatched away the very moment it came to be ....like a still born baby.....beautiful but never there again.Each memory we have is but a burden,a shadow of what was,our foolhardy will to outlive the enevitable,to make sense of this malady....and like drowning men we clutch at the straws of memory ...while memory drags us down deeper...and deeper....
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
To the Girl with a broken smile....
..And if there was such a word,a word to say it all....a word to breathe life into these dead letters,to bleed out the hurt inside of you,to tell you how sorry i am,to make you understand that i tried my best,to tell you that i loved you once,that letting go of you doesn't come easy,that you are and will always be,a part of me.........if only there was such a word..
Metamorphisis
Broken smiles painted ,
On faces tainted,
by ebon fears and crystal tears,
borne with malice of a curse.
In pain resurrected,
Colored jaded,
Dreams faded.
Bled of our own,
In darkness sown,
hope forlorn,
Under starless nights we've grown,
Eclipsed by shadows of gods of stone (alone we moan).
Calloused heart,unflinching guard,
Words on a placard,
Distort the songs of a bard.
Verses of Faith, tunes surrogate,
choices made ... Sing or suffocate.
lips dry,tounges lie,
glorify
a heaven too high
No catcher ,just withering Rye
and an end never nigh (alone we cry)
On faces tainted,
by ebon fears and crystal tears,
borne with malice of a curse.
In pain resurrected,
Colored jaded,
Dreams faded.
Bled of our own,
In darkness sown,
hope forlorn,
Under starless nights we've grown,
Eclipsed by shadows of gods of stone (alone we moan).
Calloused heart,unflinching guard,
Words on a placard,
Distort the songs of a bard.
Verses of Faith, tunes surrogate,
choices made ... Sing or suffocate.
lips dry,tounges lie,
glorify
a heaven too high
No catcher ,just withering Rye
and an end never nigh (alone we cry)
Monday, August 16, 2010
OPERATION "Fetch or Die"
DESTINATION : Kanpur
DISTANCE : 888 kilometers total
OBJECTIVE : Retrieve luggage left in train by cousin.
INVENTORY : 1.One bottle of water (not entirely necessary)
2.Two packs of Cigarettes (or according to your comsumption rate)
3.Three bottles of "(unprescribed) prescription syrup" (very important,carry as much as can be afforded)
4.Rs 1400
5.one equally optimistically oblivious buddy
6.Stupidity (lots of it)
TACTICS : Beg, kiss ass,bribe (in same order)
MISSION BRIEFING :Leave New Delhi Railway Station by 1600 hrs by first available train. Arrive at Kanpur Central at 2200 hrs.Drink Tea.Rendevouz with contact,code name : Station Master,at 2215 hrs.Collect all material.Hi-five Buddy.Celebrate victory by consuming "aloo puri".Leave Kanpur central by 2330 hrs.Arrive at New Delhi at 0530 hrs following day. Be showered with compliments and love by adoring cousin.
PLAN B :Jump out of running train, terminate self
************************************************************************************************
MISSION DEBRIEFING:2100 hrs 16.08.10
Left N.D.Railway station at 1630 hrs by wrong train(not cost effective).De-boarded Train by jumping off at Unknown location at 1700 hrs due to unforseen financial risks (Rs 1100 per person).Sorrounded by locals at location.Suspected of being "Chinese" nationals.Friendlies advise take local train to Gaziabad and board, code name : "Janlok", to Destination.Arrive at Gaziabad at approx 1830 hrs.Suspected of being chinese nationals again.Cannot confirm the existence of "Janlok".Information scarce due to language barrier.Friendlies advise board ,code name : Vaishali,at 2030 hrs to original destination.Team totured by native Culex pipiens (mosquitoes) for 2 hrs. Vaishali late by 30 minutes.Additional toture for 30 mins.Escaped Gaziabad on board "Vaishali".Realised Vaishali in control of hostiles and more Culex Pippens.Totured for 6 hrs,made to stand near toilet sorrounded by obnoxious nose picking hostiles.Medical assistance required.Hostiles demand compensation for transportation services.Negotiated Deal at 50 % by bribing.
Arrived at Kanpur Central at 0300 hrs (approx) following day.Team fatigued.Rendevouz with primary contact not possible.Secondary contact ill-informed of mission.Team on wild goose chase for 1 hr.Team morale very low,contemplating PLAN B.Neutral native provides sensitive information on goods although native suspects team of being "chinese" nationals once again.Goods location secured,team morale boosted for short time.Goods held at Secure location by local authorities. Nature of Authorities unknown.Confirmed authorities neutral although suspicious.Team debriefed,related events leading to mission to involved and uninvolved parties every 5 minutes,Access denied.Special "kiss ass" tactics deployed.Authorities not convinced but agree to deliver goods at 0700 hrs same day after key witness confirms.Team complies, set camp on concrete floor of location after surveying environment.Bedding unavailable,team use newspaper as mattresses.Team on stand-by.
Arrive at secure location at 0630 hrs.Key witness missing, no information on current position available.Team applies special tactics ,begging.1000 hrs key witness arrives.Team granted permission to speak at 1020 hrs.Explained situation. K.W sympathetic of team's cause.Hands over goods to after team produces proper identification. K.W advises team eat breakfast and evacuate area ASAP.Depature confirmed at 1220 hrs. Transportation arrives at 1330 hrs,occupied by neutrals.Transportation demands extravagant compensation,threatens to turn hostile if not complied with.Team deploys dual special tactics,"begging" and "bribing".Threat neutralised but available funds compromised. Team extraction sucessful but slow. Arrive at N.D. Railway station at 2215 hrs.Locals demand compensation for bearing goods, loading and unloading.Negotiated at 50 % . Available funds depleted.More capital required.HQ informed, okays financial request.Arrive at Base at 2300 hrs.Cousin unimpressed.Mission "Fetch or Die" Complete.
MISSION STATUS : COMPLETED
MISSION TIME : 33 hrs
MISSION COST : Rs 1450
CASUALTIES : 2 Egos,1 T-shirt,2 boxers,unknown number of Culex Pippens
POST MISSION OBSERVATIONS : Team members display an avid fear of trains and have temporarily lost their sense of smell.Acute improvement in bargaining skills.
DISTANCE : 888 kilometers total
OBJECTIVE : Retrieve luggage left in train by cousin.
INVENTORY : 1.One bottle of water (not entirely necessary)
2.Two packs of Cigarettes (or according to your comsumption rate)
3.Three bottles of "(unprescribed) prescription syrup" (very important,carry as much as can be afforded)
4.Rs 1400
5.one equally optimistically oblivious buddy
6.Stupidity (lots of it)
TACTICS : Beg, kiss ass,bribe (in same order)
MISSION BRIEFING :Leave New Delhi Railway Station by 1600 hrs by first available train. Arrive at Kanpur Central at 2200 hrs.Drink Tea.Rendevouz with contact,code name : Station Master,at 2215 hrs.Collect all material.Hi-five Buddy.Celebrate victory by consuming "aloo puri".Leave Kanpur central by 2330 hrs.Arrive at New Delhi at 0530 hrs following day. Be showered with compliments and love by adoring cousin.
PLAN B :Jump out of running train, terminate self
************************************************************************************************
MISSION DEBRIEFING:2100 hrs 16.08.10
Left N.D.Railway station at 1630 hrs by wrong train(not cost effective).De-boarded Train by jumping off at Unknown location at 1700 hrs due to unforseen financial risks (Rs 1100 per person).Sorrounded by locals at location.Suspected of being "Chinese" nationals.Friendlies advise take local train to Gaziabad and board, code name : "Janlok", to Destination.Arrive at Gaziabad at approx 1830 hrs.Suspected of being chinese nationals again.Cannot confirm the existence of "Janlok".Information scarce due to language barrier.Friendlies advise board ,code name : Vaishali,at 2030 hrs to original destination.Team totured by native Culex pipiens (mosquitoes) for 2 hrs. Vaishali late by 30 minutes.Additional toture for 30 mins.Escaped Gaziabad on board "Vaishali".Realised Vaishali in control of hostiles and more Culex Pippens.Totured for 6 hrs,made to stand near toilet sorrounded by obnoxious nose picking hostiles.Medical assistance required.Hostiles demand compensation for transportation services.Negotiated Deal at 50 % by bribing.
Arrived at Kanpur Central at 0300 hrs (approx) following day.Team fatigued.Rendevouz with primary contact not possible.Secondary contact ill-informed of mission.Team on wild goose chase for 1 hr.Team morale very low,contemplating PLAN B.Neutral native provides sensitive information on goods although native suspects team of being "chinese" nationals once again.Goods location secured,team morale boosted for short time.Goods held at Secure location by local authorities. Nature of Authorities unknown.Confirmed authorities neutral although suspicious.Team debriefed,related events leading to mission to involved and uninvolved parties every 5 minutes,Access denied.Special "kiss ass" tactics deployed.Authorities not convinced but agree to deliver goods at 0700 hrs same day after key witness confirms.Team complies, set camp on concrete floor of location after surveying environment.Bedding unavailable,team use newspaper as mattresses.Team on stand-by.
Arrive at secure location at 0630 hrs.Key witness missing, no information on current position available.Team applies special tactics ,begging.1000 hrs key witness arrives.Team granted permission to speak at 1020 hrs.Explained situation. K.W sympathetic of team's cause.Hands over goods to after team produces proper identification. K.W advises team eat breakfast and evacuate area ASAP.Depature confirmed at 1220 hrs. Transportation arrives at 1330 hrs,occupied by neutrals.Transportation demands extravagant compensation,threatens to turn hostile if not complied with.Team deploys dual special tactics,"begging" and "bribing".Threat neutralised but available funds compromised. Team extraction sucessful but slow. Arrive at N.D. Railway station at 2215 hrs.Locals demand compensation for bearing goods, loading and unloading.Negotiated at 50 % . Available funds depleted.More capital required.HQ informed, okays financial request.Arrive at Base at 2300 hrs.Cousin unimpressed.Mission "Fetch or Die" Complete.
MISSION STATUS : COMPLETED
MISSION TIME : 33 hrs
MISSION COST : Rs 1450
CASUALTIES : 2 Egos,1 T-shirt,2 boxers,unknown number of Culex Pippens
POST MISSION OBSERVATIONS : Team members display an avid fear of trains and have temporarily lost their sense of smell.Acute improvement in bargaining skills.
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